Have you ever asked yourself "why?!" That is in any specific situation or current circumstance in your life you have questioned, what the... is going on and why me, why now, why why why?. If you haven't then Who or What are you? Donald Trump maybe?!. Seriously though, we all have periods like this in our lives. Sometimes they appear to be random events/circumstances that are effecting us, occasionally they are a direct result of someone else's actions or decisions, and sometimes they are a consequence of our own choices (good or bad), actions, or words.
I have often asked the same question myself, and as I have gotten older and entered my 40's. I have learnt that these are all seasons in my life, and I have survived thus far. Admittedly, there were some touch and go situations and circumstances. I was asked by a Psychiatric Nurse what are my regrets or do I regret any of my choices, actions etc. I will add at this point that I am deliberately using the word "Choices" rather than decisions, as we always have a choice when a decision needs to be made, that is, unless you have a specific mental health issue/disorder. So to go back to the conversation with my mental health nurse, I don't have regrets, as one can and should learn from one's choices. I acknowledge that not all choices were right, and not all actions were beneficial, or right, and not all conversations were uplifting or constructive. Never the less, they are part of my past and my past has played a part in constructing, informing and guiding my present.
The present is exactly that, do I focus on the past or do I focus on the future, or in some part do I do both, not with one constant focus however, as I have found this destructive and has a negative effect on my mental health. The past is that, I once was told "hindsight is the only exact science." Yes learn from the past, try not make the same choices, or take the same actions and speaking those words again, but then again, I am a fallible human and may have to experience another learning point in my life. Similarly, I can not focus wholly on the future, as I can not control my future, that is, I can not prevent a natural occurrence such as flooding of my home, I can not stop and episode of acute illness or serious health issues, I can not control my employment status, such as now, as I am unemployed due to #Covid-19 and #lockdown. Of course I can prepare for the future, by learning from the past, educating myself, getting trained, keeping as healthy as possible etc., But it should not be my entire focus lest I forget the here and now and those with me. #coronavirus has reiterated this, not just to one location or peoples, but to the entire World.
After all, life is like a jigsaw, where it may contain a 1000 pieces, but we are only given 1 piece at a time. Whether that is by fate, the universe, or a deity, such as the Christian God, or Allah, we need to focus on what we have now and see how that fits in to the jigsaw of our lives, and what the bigger picture may be. Understanding that, the "now" is just that, can help us get through. We are, after all a tripartite people, we have a past, present and future, we have physical, psychological and spiritual needs. Yes spiritual as well. Satrie X, the Roman poet wrote "Mens sana in corpore sano" a healthy mind in a healthy body, yet the Romans had many god's they worshiped, and believed that the persons wellbeing was intrinsically linked to the god's and their will for our lives. Even doctors today debate that those with a spiritual belief, whether it is being one with the universe, following Buddha, Yahweh or Jesus just to mention a few, can and often do recover more quickly from illnesses, surgery, or even have a greater peace when facing death. Even in my own experience as a nurse, I have seen those living with dementia and with almost total loss of rational thought, become totally lucid when someone reads a bible to them, or says a prayer, or will even sing along with a visiting religious group.
Therefore, I will continue to build the jigsaw of my life, reflecting on the past, living the now, preparing for the future and attempting to maintain a healthy balance of my physical, spiritual and mental health (psychological) needs and being.